Diving into ‘Sich Rechnen’ – How Learning German Helped Me Understand My Own Ethics

It’s been six months since I moved to Munich, and honestly, ‘Deutsch’ (German) is a massive headache sometimes. Not just the grammar, though that’s definitely a beast, but the way people think, the subtle expectations, the… values. I always thought I had a pretty good grasp of right and wrong, but being here has forced me to confront things in a way I never really did before. And strangely, learning the language has become intrinsically linked to this process. It’s all about Sich Rechnen – calculating, weighing things up.

The Lost Package and the ‘Verantwortung’ Dilemma

A couple of weeks ago, I was expecting a package – a really important one, containing parts for a project I’m working on. The delivery company, DHL, said it was ‘verschickt’ (sent), but it never arrived. I called them repeatedly, and the customer service agent, a very polite man named Herr Schmidt, kept saying they were “prüfend” (investigating). He was technically correct, but it felt incredibly frustrating. I was ready to launch into a rant about the lost time and wasted money, demanding immediate action.

But then, something shifted. I remembered a conversation I’d overheard at the Biergarten (beer garden) – two men discussing a similar issue. One of them said, “Man muss sich das Rechnen machen” (One has to do the calculations). Suddenly, I realised I was reacting purely out of anger and inconvenience. I hadn’t considered Herr Schmidt’s position. He was likely dealing with hundreds of lost packages, following procedure, and probably exhausted.

I calmed myself down, took a deep breath, and said to Herr Schmidt, “Entschuldigen Sie, Herr Schmidt. Ich verstehe, dass Sie viele Pakete bearbeiten. Könnten Sie mir bitte sagen, wann ich mit einer Antwort rechnen kann?” (Excuse me, Mr. Schmidt. I understand you handle many packages. Could you please tell me when I can expect a response?). It was a small change in my approach, but it felt… better. I learned a huge lesson about ‘Verantwortung’ (responsibility) – not just my own, but also recognizing the pressures and constraints others might be under.

Small Talk, Big Values: “Wie geht’s Ihnen?” and the Importance of ‘Ja’

Before this, my responses to “Wie geht’s Ihnen?” (“How are you?”) were always a breezy “Gut, danke!” (Good, thank you!). It felt polite, but utterly superficial. I realised I wasn’t truly seeing the person asking, or allowing them to genuinely engage with me.

Then, last week, I was chatting with a colleague, Alice, during my coffee break. She was visibly stressed about a project deadline. Instead of offering a generic “Das wird schon” (It will be alright), I actually listened. I asked her specifically what was causing her stress and offered to help with a small task. She was so grateful! Her response was simple: “Ja, das wäre sehr nett von Ihnen” (Yes, that would be very kind of you). That simple ‘Ja’ felt incredibly significant. It wasn’t just agreement; it was acknowledgement of my willingness to help, a recognition of shared values. It reinforced the importance of ‘Ja’ – saying ‘yes’ when you can, genuinely offering support.

Misunderstandings and the Value of ‘Entschuldigung’

I’ve made a lot of mistakes. A classic one was attempting to pay for a coffee with a 20 euro note. The barista, a young woman named Lisa, looked completely baffled. It took a frantic explanation – and a lot of gesturing – to understand that I’d unintentionally given her too much money. She patiently corrected me, and I mumbled a profuse “Entschuldigung!” (Sorry!). The whole experience highlighted the importance of clear communication and being aware of cultural differences. Over here, generosity can be perceived very differently, and a simple ‘sorry’ went a long way in diffusing the situation. It made me realize that sometimes, simply acknowledging a mistake and offering an apology can resolve a situation much more effectively than arguing.

Moving Forward: ‘Denke darüber nach’ – Thinking It Through

Learning German isn’t just about memorising vocabulary and grammar rules. It’s about understanding a different way of thinking, a different set of values, and a different way of interacting with the world. ‘Denke darüber nach’ (Think about it) – as they say here – is a phrase I’m actively trying to live by. Every conversation, every interaction, every attempt to navigate this new culture forces me to reflect on my own assumptions and values. It’s challenging, sometimes frustrating, and occasionally overwhelming, but ultimately, it’s making me a more thoughtful, empathetic, and – hopefully – a better person. And, surprisingly, the more I learn about ‘Sich Rechnen,’ the more I appreciate the richness and complexity of the German way of life.